Halloween in DC

It’s October, and that means my mind, morbid and twisted as it is, has social license to air its dirty laundry and terrible puns upon the world with impunity. Usually this just involves playing the Beetlejuice soundtrack over and over, but this year I decided to shake the cobwebs off my graphic design muscles and make an actual thing.

The admittedly trivial, but incredibly fun and amusing result of my labor is the Halloween Metro Map, seen below. I downloaded a PDF of the official metro map, changed all of the names, and crammed puns and pop culture and references into every nook and cranny possible. Shades of Tales from the Crypt and old EC comics. Colors and tints were spookified, rivers were tentacled, and fonts were molested with abandon. Really the only thing I didn’t touch were the metro phone numbers, as I couldn’t think of enough spooky phone numbers to justify the effort.

I believe the changes made amount to fair use and parody, but just in case, I also removed all the copyright and restricted symbols, and replaced all the websites with my own.

I now have fulls-size, 34-inch-wide, print-resolution PDFS of this monstrosity hanging around my hard drive and no where to put them to good use. Not that I think there is any particularly “good” use for this map. I made it for fun. I hope other people think it’s fun too.

And if anyone can think of better, punnier, more obscure names for any of these stations or labels, email me. Or should I say SCREAmail me. Heeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeeeeee